What does that mean ?
Love on yourself? How does one do that? Where do I begin...
Well lets start with some truth, 71 % of women when asked in a survey about their bodies said that they have many parts of their bodies that they hate. NOT DISLIKE .... HATE, DO PEOPLE REALIZE THAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES! I kinda cringed a bit; it made me stop in my in tracks as I was planning to write a blog pertaining to my own insecurities on fighting with self love but with numbers like this floating around lets address the big issue! Why the hell are we not good enough as we are? Why is loving ourselves so damn hard? This is where my blog begins... With the WHY?
Well for me Overtime I know it is programed in our heads to look a certain way, as far back as I can remember I can recall alot of friends doing nothing but picking their bodies apart. I want to have a booty like Jlo , then it was Trina, Then Beyonce, Then Nicki and I always remember saying girl thats just a fad, but is it really? At this point in time I honestly don't know anymore. The desire for perfection is just sickening to me lately.(It could be that I see it daily because of my profession, Im a Master cosmetologist) ; but why do we care so much about those things in which are supposed to make us all unique in our own way. Please don't get me wrong, I admire other women and say man "she's beautiful" and "girl your body is amazing", but that is something totally different than someone who completely hates what she sees in the mirror daily. Where can we reverse this behavior? Why is looking like a celebrity someones goals? When most celebrities wish they could look like us! Hair and make up alone is full of so much work and preparation, and then to do all that work and still feel empty inside whats the point? I watched a performance of lady GAGA at the super bowl and admired her belly.. I said moments later, "she's going to get slammed for that!" I wish that wasn't the truth but it was. The next day all the trolls came out and started harassing her appearance. Im an aspiring plus model and I know first hand the back handed attacks that come with standing up for body positivity, but when will it end? we are making progress but clearly not fast enough.
Valentines day for so many women and some men while single, and in a relationship means someone loves you. Someone loves you enough to buy you nice things and say publicly I love you and admire you. I love valentines day, always have, but thats not the end all be all to love folks. I love gifts and alone time with the love of my life. He makes me FEEL full with love and he supports me like no other. He is my world and many of my followers know that, BUT I AM MY OWN UNIVERSE. I say that because in order to be the lover he needed me to be I needed to be full of love within myself first! I had to chose me before I could choose anyone to love besides my family and children. For me it began with accepting my realities as clear as they come. I am not Beyonce, I can sing her songs and do her dances but I'm not her I'm Catherine Ashly and I think Im beautiful too in my own way. I resemble thick women like Jill Scott but guess what, as much as I love her and her music, IM NOT HER. When I look in the mirror I have large arms, a fat belly that I earned from having a 13 pound baby and YES I SURVIVED IT! :) I literally had to stop comparing what I would call imperfections to others. I purchased markers and wrote on mirrors that I was beautiful even when I didn't see it myself. I WORKED ON LEARNING HOW TO LOVE ME REGARDLESS of my circumstances. That can't be purchased by anyone, many of you will get your favorite perfumes and bags for valentine's day this year, some will gets cards, money, lace fronts lol... all are awesome; but will you LOVE YOU?
Ill be honest I was married to a man that thought that buying me things would bring me happiness and it was only a band aid. It covered my pain for the moment but after a week went by the womb of emptiness would bleed and bleed heavy.... When I left. I learned the value of money and how much it could never be disguised for genuine love and affection. MY SELF LOVE JOURNEY STILL CONTINUES AS I STRUGGLE NOW WITH NOT HOW I LOOK BUT HOW I FEEL WITH LUPUS. Its so hard to love a body that tends to feel like it hates you every other day, but I do love on myself daily even when I don't want to. I make better choices so that my body won't make me sick, I no longer care about the vanity within how I look, and since our mind controls the majority of how we feel about ourselves vs how we really look, I choose peace and happiness. I CHOOSE LOVE, PEACE, HEALTH AND JOY.
SO TELL ME .... WHY ARENT YOU LOVING ON YOURSELF AS YOU SHOULD ? Ask yourself that and really get some answers, and remember that YOU CAN BE YOUR OWN VALENTINE DAILY....JUST LOVE ON YOURSELF GIRL! :)